Isn't NASCAR's awards ceremony long enough?

Let me get this straight. Somebody actually asked Kevin Costner to make his segment on NASCAR history during the Sprint Cup awards ceremony LONGER?

He said it, right there in front of Richard Petty and everybody. “They asked me to kill a couple of minutes here,” he said.

Of course, this was after he called Dale Earnhardt “The Terminator” during his review of the sport’s 60 seasons. I choose to believe that’s not because he doesn’t know that Earnhardt was called “The Intimidator,” but that he was having trouble reading the Telepromter.

Now I ask you, if Kevin Costner has trouble working with that thing, what kind of chance does Tony Stewart have in looking natural with it?

I have no problem with NASCAR acknowledging its history. It was refreshing, in fact, to see at least a couple of seconds of Tim Richmond’s image on the screen during Costner’s segment. But the only thing that the segment Friday night needed was a point.

I do have a couple of observations about the first hour of the broadcast that aired on ESPN Classic, too.

First, I think the director must have been overserved at the cocktail reception that precedes the banquet. At no point did he appear to have any idea what the viewer at home should be seeing. Once a cameraman on the floor shooting a crowd reaction shot got up and walked away from whoever he was shooting at the view from his camera was on the air the whole time.

Comedian John Pinette is a pretty funny guy, actually. But I am still scratching my head trying to figure out why the fact that the turnips his sister prepared for the Thanksgiving meal gave him gas has anything to do with racing. And with all due respect, the cleanliness of his colon is really not Jimmie Johnson’s concern.

Matchbox 20 or Matchbox Twenty or whatever was right in line with your typical NASCAR banquet choices. One of the great all-time moments in this event’s history came a few years ago when Joe Gibbs’ wife actually sat on stage with her fingers in her ears as a band called Third Eye Blind (or, as I call them now, Two Ears Deaf) played a few feet away.

NASCAR isn't announcing how much money each driver is getting from the points fund this year, which is precisely the opposite of what the focus of this event usually is. But with people having lost jobs in the sport and with teams either folding or merging about every day that didn't really surprise me. The idea of bragging about handing out $25 million at a dinner that probably cost $300 or so a plate probably wasn't the right tone for this night.

But I am not sure this was the right setting for NASCAR folks to lobby repeatedy on behalf of a bailout for the American auto industry, either. The industry's support for NASCAR is important, but the banquet isn't being aired on C-SPAN (although, if ESPN had its way, it might be next year).

It’s now 11 p.m. I am guessing the banquet is actually over, but ESPN Classic still has an hour and the top five drivers left to go. I have to watch to get a fresh quote from Johnson for my story for tomorrow’s paper. If I were actually in New York this would all be over. But then again, I ain’t exactly wearing a tuxedo here at home right now, either.